Nowhere is this more true than in the matter of relationship dynamics. The way that you treat your partner is probably exactly a mirror of the way they treat you, and so if you are kind and loving, or at least if you see yourself as kind and loving, when a breakup happens, the wound and pain are all the greater because what you feel you’ve given out is so valuable and precious.
Yet the truth of the matter is of course that in every breakup, both the ex-boyfriend in the ex-girlfriend have issues that are true for them, and issues that are true for the other partner get in the way of clear perception.
Rarely has a relationship breakup due to one person’s actions alone: it’s always due to the combination of people who don’t deal with their historical wounds, their emotional wounds from childhood, the issues that prevent them being the fully mature person they can be.
So when you break up with somebody, and you really want to get back together with them because you know that you love them very deeply and dearly, and that they are fundamentally the right person for you, then your first action has to be to work on your old issues and old wounds.
Only then will you be in a position to actually deal with the problem is that you face, only then will you be in a position to deal with the issues that kept you apart in the first place, and only then of course will you be able to have a mature relationship free of anger, rage, grief, and general emotional anxiety.
One of the best ways to do this is to engage in shadow work Which is a form of Jungian psychology or active psychotherapy, which allows you to access call wounds, in a very quick and easy way, in a safe container of people who are supporting you, and then radically altered the historical records that you have in your mind, so that you see yourself in a very different way.
However, whether or not you take a shadow work is an option to deal with historical wounds that are preventing you from enjoying a relationship now is entirely up to you.
My concern really is about practical techniques that you can use right here right now to enable you to move forward into a place of new relationship with a partner who you’ve decided you really want to get back together with after of relationship breakup.
One of the best techniques that I found is a program set out by Michael Fiore, in an Internet program named “text your ex back”.
Text your ex back (click here to find out about texting your partner back) is a program that is designed to communicate with your partner in a way that doesn’t raise the issues that separated you in the first place when your relationship broke up.
You’ll find that your boyfriend or girlfriend, or rather your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, is responsive to a certain approach if they have any love you wish to get back together with you.
That approach causes not an emotional one, nor is it seduction, nor is it charm, nor is it whining and neediness — all of which are approaches used by people who want to get back together with an ex-partner, but strangely enough, these approaches rarely work. I’ll leave you to work out why.
Much productive approaches to generate a sense of belonging, a sense of togetherness, a sense that actually your relationship is the right one in the world for all the reasons that a mature couple would see living together as a good option: support, companionship, mutual respect, love, admiration, and so on. These are the values of humanity at its finest.
So what’s with the idea of text thing next partner to get back together? Has Mike Fiore lost his mind?
Can it really be true that texting your partner, or rather your ex-partner, is a way of establishing a relationship that is meaningful and productive? Well, modern psychology suggests that there are many different behavioural techniques that can get people back together after breakup, and one of them is to divorce their feelings from their desires.
In other words you’re not going to start trying to get back together with your ex because you believe that it’s going to be good for your ego, or because you feel lonely without them; you get back together with an ex partner because you actually believe that’s the best thing for both of you, in the long-term for the sake of your personal growth and development, not to mention your happiness and relationship success.
So Mike Fiore allows you to approach your partner, your ex-partner, By sending text messages, all of which have been carefully prescribed uniform your that allows you to divorce emotional wounds from your communication and actually set forth in a matter-of-fact way what it is you want and how you want it.
Truth of the matter is, a lot of communication these days is done by text message, so why we should be surprised that the concept of relationship repair taking place in the same way is an open question.